The melting of the deep snow was a joyous occasion. The village was molded around it's life style of farming and during the winter not much could be done with that. The melting of the snows and the coming of the spring meant a gaining back of their livelihood, their work, and their passion: farming. As soon as the snows showed signs of melting for the last time that year, out would come maps, plans, and inventories of seeds and Kedrik would call a meeting of all the head farmers, one of each family. They would then spend long hours determining what would be needed in the year, what would be best for the land and who took which crop, an amount of each would then be pooled at the end of the year for the village and the rest sold for profit.

Last year Kedrik's crop had been legumes (beans etc) to restore the needed nitrogen into the soil. This year he was to grow one of the most important and well used crops: grain.

After all the planning had been finished and everyone had seeds enough to sow their land and everything was prepared and ready, the last long waiting would come until the ground thawed enough to start the planting process. That wait was always the longest because the men were restless with the need to get out in the fields. Many of the younger men drank because there was nothing else to do and caused a lot of trouble in town. Regretfully, one night, I found Zac amongst that crowd. I had been looking for him to come home to dinner. There I found him, stumbling over his feet, laughing uproariously with the crowd of young men I had been wary of when I first walked into the town with Zac. Once again the same man, whom I had later found out was named Denos, sneered at me. The small amount of respect he and his friends had acquired for me was forgotten after his first few glasses of beer. I was furious. I grabbed Zac's arm and dragged him home. That was the beginning of our separation. From then on there was a distance between us, and he spent more and more of his time away from the house with the crowd, sometimes all night. It hurt very very deeply. The thing was, I still cared for him, and him for me, but before nothing could come between us, now something had. I realized that I had always 'felt' his presence. He was always there. But when he was drunk, it was like I was separated from him, he was gone and I couldn't reach him. His mind was dimmed with drink and he was almost in a separate world entirely and I literally 'felt' the loss of his companionship, his presence, his sharp mind. It was gone from my own.

Zac tried his best, I think, to make it up to me when I went out to the fields with him, once work started, when he was somewhere near sober that is. Day after day he tried, but it never worked. There was always something wrong, something separating us. The connection we had once had was severed. I think in some ways it influenced him to go off with his friends even more often. To forget.

One morning, as my birthday approached, I, as silently as I could crept out of bed. It didn't matter much anyway, as Zac was out, but I didn't want to wake up the rest of the family. It was still dark out and I packed all of my belongings, the ones that I had brought and the ones I had been given. The only things I left were Zac's things and a note to Tarissa thanking her for her hospitality and asking her not to worry. I said I would be back someday, if not soon.

I packed some food such as bread, cheese, and dried fruit and meat. I knew that Tarissa would not mind the missing travel items. I then walked quietly out of the house I had come to know so well. I loved everyone in there and new them well, but I could not stay any longer. I had an urgency to leave, and I could no longer handle the pain my dealings with Zac gave me.

I went out to the barn and put on Soulfire the soft leather hack-a-more I had made for her. Then with my pack on my back, I mounted, turned her down the lane and urged Soulfire into a gallop. I no longer cared if I woke anyone up with the sound of hooves pounding on packed dirt. For once in a great long while I felt truly free sitting there on Soulfire's back, feeling the power surging between my legs, the wind in my hair and the tears streaming down my cheeks. I was free, and I no longer cared about anything but the moment. On we two, now seeming one, galloped along the roadway until I felt Soulfire's great stamina and strength beginning to tire. I slowed her down to an easy canter, then a trot and finally a walk. The urgency was gone. I no longer felt such a need to go anywhere, even though I had no desire to go back. I was relaxed. I was content. I was free.

I looked around at our position. I remembered the cave that Zac and I had stayed at the first night. It was perfect, and not too much farther. I was thankful for the speed of horses. On foot it would have taken me a full day to reach the spot, on a horse not much more than and hour and a half.

When we finally reached the clearing the sun had long been up and I new that by then Kedrik and everyone else would have missed my presence. I didn't mind. I was eternally grateful to them all but they knew I could take care of myself, as I had long ago proven.

I led Soulfire over to the stream. She was smart enough not to drink too much of the cold water right away and only took a small sip. I then turned her loose into the grassy clearing and did likewise, sipping of the cool water and washing the dust from my face. What I really wanted was a nice hot shower. That was one of the main things I missed greatly besides all my family and friends. I had dealt with the absence of my shower by washing every night at the well with my biodegradable soap with an occasional wash with shampoo. It was difficult at first, but it got easier, though the winter was hell. The water was too cold to do any kind of decent job and not freeze some part of my body off.

I carried my belongings into the cave and set about to make it more like a home. I used pine branched and other such leaves to make a half decent bed with my sleeping bag. I went outside and laboriously cut down some saplings, and, using twine, I tied them together in a way as to make some platforms raised about a foot and a half from the ground for my clothing and other belongings. I then stuffed my pack underneath. All this was in the back and side of the small cave, away from the entrance and guarded more or less from the opening by the side of the cave itself. That would prevent wind and rain from creeping inside and getting me and my things wet. I spent much of the rest of the afternoon searching for tinder and wood to get myself a large pile of reserves for fire building that would last some time.

After all that was good and done with I decided to explore more of the area around my newfound home. Glancing over at Soulfire to make sure she was doing all right I walked along the bank of the stream, plucking and munching on an apple as I went along. The forest was getting thicker and thicker and more underbrush developed. It wasn't before very long, maybe five minutes before I came to the place the stream issued. It was a cleft in what I had thought was a large hill. There was a great branch hanging over the entrance and I pushed it away. It revealed a cleft in the shape of an upside down V that was large enough for 3 men abreast at the bottom where it reached the ground. It was just tall enough for me to be able to walk through without worrying about ducking and was long enough that I couldn't quite see through except for a sliver of sunlight I took to mean another opening at the end. I decided to follow the stream through the rock after removing my boots and slinging them over my shoulder. Echoing through the cleft was the sound of running water and when I emerged on the other side, the sight I saw took my breath away. I had found a small enclosed lake. It was a deep clear blue and glistened in the sun. There was a small sun-bleached beach with vegetation around the edges of the enclosure and crawling up the rock face, decorating it was myriads of flowers and emerald green leaves. There were even a few broad leaf trees to provide shade on the far corner with a blanket of green moss covering the ground. From the far end of the enclosure water poured into the lake out of the rock face forming a small waterfall.

It was beautiful. It was a dream come true. It was mine. I stood for about five minutes just marveling and exploring around the enclosure. Then I bolted for the entrance and as fast as my bare feet would carry me, gathered soap, toiletries and all my clothing as well as an extra cloth I had taken to use as a makeshift towel. I ran back, dumped off all my stuff and in a twinkling I stripped and in the water warmed by the sun. I took my time, swimming around and washing every inch of my body numerous times until I had scraped the skin nearly raw.

By this time my hair was 3/4 of the way down my back, curly, dirty and very very tangled. I spent a good hour just on my hair alone. When that was all done I turned my attention to my clothing and gave them each a good scrubbing and hung them up to dry, waiting for them while I swam around the lake a good few times. When all that was done shadows were beginning to fall in the enclosure. Outside it wasn't so bad, but with the high sides the sun seemed lower. I did my best to dry myself off and wrapped the towel around myself. I then gathered up all my slightly damp clothing and walked back to the cave. I was starving because almost all I had eaten all day was an apple and I had done a lot of work settling in. I started up the fire and hung my clothing as close to it as I dared. I then got out some food and ate my dinner of bread, cheese, fruit and dried meat with relish, washing it down with some water from the waterfall which I was sure didn't have any soap in it. I was very glad I had thought to bring the biodegradable soap. There were a lot of things I was glad I had thought to bring.

After checking on SoulFire and relating to her my day, a habit I had taken to, I climbed into my bed, adjusting it so it wasn't too uncomfortable and let my mind wander, looking for sleep. I couldn't help but think about Zac. There was no way I couldn't. I thought with some bitterness that at that very moment he would probably be at the Inn, drinking with his buddies, with not a care in the world. Yeah, not in THIS world. In the other . . . I missed home I realized. A lot. We had almost been here a whole year and not given any thought to trying to find a way back home. We didn't know anything about how or why what had happened had happened. Somehow I didn't think it was just coincidence.

We. I thought of a lot of things in terms of US and WE. I wasn't sure if that was really a good or bad thing. I was my own person, I didn't need him. It wasn't WE it was HIM and I. No, not even that. Me, Myself and I. Him, Himself and He.

I tried convincing myself, but then reality came crashing down.

The word was WE. I loved Zac. I really did, no matter how much he drank or how much he decided to ruin his life. I loved him. I didn't think he ever meant to hurt me like that. But he did, and I couldn't go back.

Zac stumbled through the door into the Master Farmers home. He stopped dead as he looked around at the drawn faces of the people gathered in the main room. Even dead drunk he knew something was not right.

"What?" It was about midmorning and Kedrik as well as Vanel should already be in the fields. He too should have been but he and the guys had had a heavy night. He had passed out at the bar. His splitting headache didn't help much, it only increased the stare of those in the room with him now.

"Melli left." Tarissa answered. She and Kedrik walked over to the hungover Zac and dragged him outside where the dunked his head into a horse trough filled with freezing cold water and of course, horse slobber. He came up sputtering. They did it again and again until he was sufficiently sober. Zac was ready to storm off in a heat and never see them again but Kedrik didn't let go of his arm. Instead he dragged Zac inside and slammed him down in a chair.

"Now you clean up your act mister. YOU are the reason Melli left whether she will admit it to the rest of us or not."

"Melli left?" Zac couldn't believe it. He hadn't quite comprehending Tarissa saying so before.

"Yes, she left" Megean confirmed. Zac looked at her and he saw the anger in her eyes. He jerked out of Kedrik's grasp and ran into the room he and Melli used to share. Sure enough there was no sign of her or any of her belongings.

"You hurt her you felon " Vanel was extremely enraged. It was only his parents stare kept him from attempting to severely injure Zac, despite common sense. He knew Zac could beat him senseless any day. Zac looked up at Vanel frightened. He then realized that Vanel had a huge crush on Melli, but that was the last thing on Zac's mind.

"I don't believe it. I . . . she just left me . . ."

"No Zac. You left her. In a different sense, but you left her first." Kedrik said quietly. He was upset with Zac also, but he cared for him and tried to break the news easily.

"No . . .no . . ." Zac shook his head, trying his best to deny it, but he couldn't. He knew it was true. Suddenly he looked up with a determined look. He no longer had any remains of the drunken fixation he had been in. "I have to go find her. Now." He was ready to run out of the house, but again, Kedrik held him back. He couldn't just run out of the house, he needed to prepare for traveling.

"Okay, here let me get you some supplies. Melli only took a few things she didn't think I would notice. She'll need more, the poor dear." Tarissa busied herself gathering loads of food and stuffed them in a sack while Zac went out to the barn and saddled the brown stallion that he was used to riding. He led him to the front of the house. The whole of the Master Farmer's family came out to him. Each carrying a sack. Tarissa handed him food, Kedrik sleeping skins, Megean had thoughtfully packed the remainder of his belongings. Vanel held back and one by one took out and replaced the articles in the sack he held, explaining who each was from. That sack contained all the presents the family had gathered for Melli's birthday. They knew she would not come back in time to give them to her themselves.

They packed the bags comfortably on the horse then made their farewells. Kedrik gave him a big warm fatherly embrace. Vanel an awkward shaking of hands that meant more than it seemed. Megean a grasping desperate hug. Tarissa a warm motherly hug and pat, she looked him over.

"You and Melli have become such a part of this family. I consider the two of you my own children. Resolve this and come back safe someday. I will miss you dearly. We all will." She looked back at the rest of her family and then looked back at Zac as she broke down into tears. Zac mounted his horse and Kedrik came up to put a comforting arm around his wife. There were tears in everyone's eyes as Zac rode off. Unknowingly in the wrong direction.